Alone and Empty

People surround me – at work, in public and at home
Wherever I go, I never appear to be alone
Yet, inside me is a cavern so dark and deep
I struggle not to fall, it’s so hard, and I weep

I reach out and tell some I thought were so close
My pain, my memories, my grief and remorse
Only to be met with stabbing words or turned backs
Shallow words without meaning feel like sharp tacks

I don’t want to go through the motions in a sea of indifference
To live this way to me just doesn’t make any sense
So much conflicted pain inside and no one can see
That I am trapped in quick-sand that resides in me

Just when I think there might be a glimmer of hope
It’s just a tease, a mirage, a terrible joke
I want so badly to be good and right
But the mirror does not lie, I don’t like its sight

To be in a sea of people you see,
Is meaningless, pointless and empty
I’m surrounded by an ocean of water with nothing to drink
I’m thirsty, longing, empty…I sink

Barb Dreyer
9-29-08